Secondary Infertility

Two words that I didn't expect to hear. Two words that I didn't want to hear. My only exposure to infertility (IF) is negative. It's heartbreaking, ruthless and the cause of countless tears.

I suppose I should start at the beginning. Yesterday, I had an HSG. If you want to know the full term, feel free to google. I'm kinda lazy this morning. Basically, it was a dye test to see what was going on in my ute. Fun times. Especially when it took 3 tries to get the catheter in. Meh, this might be TMI, but since I've had Maddux, most of my modesty flew far, far away. Anyway, the radiologist who ended up doing the procedure asked if I was there due to infertility. I said "no." I didn't have a problem getting pregnant. Only staying that way. Then, she said, "I'm sorry to tell you this, dear, but that's secondary infertility."

O_O <----That's me wide eyed. What was this woman talking about? I'm not infertile. I can't be! I couldn't wait to get home and do some googling of my own. But, alas, Google does not lie. Infertility is not just the inability to get pregnant, it's the inability to stay pregnant and carry to full term.

Needless to say, it was shocking. Not what I was expecting. I'm hoping to talk to my own OB at some point today to go over the results of my HSG and ask her about Secondary IF. Wish me luck with that conversation. I have a feeling that, once again, my poor OB will be consoling a crying me. Have I told you about my OB, Dr, G? No? Oh, well, let me tell you - I love her! Seriously, love, love, love her. I want to have her over for dinner and wine. If I could have a dinner party with 5 people, I'd have her, Michelle Obama, Oprah and Rachael Ray. Oh, and me, of course. Dr. G has been my biggest cheerleader with my pregnancies. She's there with support when I need it, answers when I need them and silent hugs when I need those too.

I digress. But, you get the point. I love Dr. G. But, I do hope that we get some further answers with this last set of tests. This is the one I'd been waiting for. So, if I have to be labeled with Secondary IF, at least let me get some closure on why all of this is happening with my results.