Spring Cleaning!

There's something therapeutic about doing spring cleaning each year. Old with the old, in with the new. Or, maybe not new. In with the clean! It's such a lot of work each year, but I feel so much better after its done.

One of my biggest items on the list is decluttering. I hate clutter. And, with a toddler, it's hard to keep up with it. I clean one area and he's already into making his mark on another area. But, this year, if something hasn't been used in the last year, its outta here! I'm serious about that. There are a few websites that I plan to fully use in order to accomplish this monumental task.

Craiglist: Even if there are things that I'm willing to give away for free, they are going on CL. I might even do a "Curb Alert", letting all of my local area know there's stuff to be picked up at the end of my driveway...FOR FREE!

Paperbackswap: www.paperbackswap.com. Bookmark it! If you like to read and keep buying books - whether they are hardcover or softcover, but they are just sitting around collecting dust, this site is for you! It's much easier than amazon or ebay to use for "selling" your books. It's really easy. All you need to do is create a profile and put in the "ISBN" number on the back of your books. The site will collect all of the info for your book. Then, usually pretty quickly, you'll get notified that someone wants the book. Bring it to the post office, mail it out (you need to pay shipping yourself) and once they receive it, you get a credit for the book. Then, you can buy books with credits. The only time you pay for anything is when you ship out books. That way, there's no questioning how much something is going to cost to ship and then quoting a price to the buyer. I've used this site a bunch. It works. Try it.

With that, I'm off to finish cleaning my bathroom.

xoxo!

Bad blogger, bad, bad blogger

Yep, the title of this post. That's me. I can't believe it's been over a month since I updated. Let's see...where to start?

I had my surgery on March 3. I won't get into a ton of gory details. But, let's just say that it wasn't as easy as I was hoping it would be. I was in a lot of pain and it took about 2 weeks for me to feel back to normal. On a positive note, my RE removed a ton of scar tissue. It was most likely from my problems after M was born. My RE is 75% sure that is why I couldn't carry a child to term. So, we're all hoping this was what I needed to fix it. I go for my follow up SHG (saline ultrasound) to see that everything is healing properly and we can move on to the next stage of our lives.

March Madness has been a part of our household. Lots of basketball to be watched. The tournament has been a trainwreck in terms of our brackets. But, it's been a ton of fun to watch.

And, we got hit with the Flood of 2010. Our basement flooded this past week and we lost the carpeting in our finished basement. But, we didn't have it as bad as some others - we didn't lose any of our furniture. Just some carpet and a little sheetrock. We count ourselves as lucky ones. We're still cleaning out the basement, but it looks like our master plan includes re-sealing the basement, tile flooring, sheetrock replaced and some throw rugs on the floor.

Whew! It's been busy around here. But, I feel better just writing this all out - very therapeutic.

Until next time...xoxo!

Tiger, dear, Tiger

Yesterday was Tiger Woods' public statement. I admit. I watched. I wanted to see what he was going to say. He apologized. Profusely. He apologized to his fans, his sponsors, his friends, his mother and his wife. Okay. It's done. Now, he can get on with his life.

I understand that part of the whole "Tiger Woods" phenomenon was and is the public persona. The perfect man. The incredible golfer, dedicated family man, friendly guy. But, as I told my husband last night, I will encourage Tiger Woods as a role model for our son. Why? He's not perfect. No one is. He's made a mistake and he might very well pay by losing his family. I don't know. That's up to him and his wife. But, I would never want my son to think that anyone is perfect. Because we're not. As Rob puts it, it's not Tiger's responsibility to guide our son. It's ours. We, as his parents, will be teaching him right from wrong, good from evil. It's unfair to our son to place that responsibility on anyone else. We are his parents.

I look forward to seeing Tiger on the golf course again. And, I truly hope everything works out for him and his beautiful family.

Woohoo!

I'm so excited! My surgery is set for March 3.

Is it normal to be excited for surgery? Probably not. But, then again, who said I was normal? Not I. So, what exactly am I excited about? I'm not excited about the IV. Or the recovery time. Or any of the pain.

But, I AM excited about what this means. This means that the next time I get pregnant, I might be able to stay pregnant. For 10 whole months. Through all the morning sickness and fatigue. And, in the end, have what we hope and wish for - the newest member of our family.

Saturday ramblings

It's been a while since my last post. I'm really trying to get better at this whole blogging thing. I just seemed to get sidetracked. And, frankly, I'm not sure with what. Meh, I'm here now and typing away. So much is going on.

I had the appointment with the RE last week. I really liked her which means I now officially love all of these doctors that are trying to get me pregnant again! We were there for about an hour and a half and they were very thorough. They even did blood work on both of us. The RE wants me to have one more test, an SHG, which is less painful than an HSG. (Yay!) She just wants to take another peek to see what's going on. But, as it stands, I will be having surgery sometime in the next month or so. I hope its sooner than later so we can fix everything and hopefully have a positive outcome.

I find it very funny that whenever we talk about the hemorrhage after Maddux, we get raised eyebrows. The RE and her intern were in the room talking with us. This is how it played out.

Me: I had no complications while pregnant, but I did have a hemorrhage after he was born.

RE: Oh, you had one right after?

Me: No. Ten days later.

RE: O_O

Intern: O_O

And, all eyebrows were raised over those shocked and blank looks. Rob and I actually find the reactions funny. But, really, it must mean that it's just so rare that most people don't usually hear about it. Eh, whatever. It's in the past. All we can do is hope it doesn't happen again.

It looks like we are a bit more public in our struggles this time around. I know Rob talked to someone in his family who he's had a hard time keeping this all from. I think it made him feel better that he now has someone else he can talk to about it. It's not that we weren't telling people before, but we were really selective in who knew about our miscarriages. We live in a small town and weren't ready to share with everyone before. My! How times have changed. Oddly enough, I look forward to talking about it a little. When I get asked "Oh, when will Maddux be a big brother?", I get tired of the standard "Someday" answer. I would love to gently educate those who inquire that we've had some struggles since having him and can't wait to have another one. But, sometimes, it hurts so much to have to answer that question, I just want to scream - "I HAVE FOUR BABIES! I CAN ONLY HOLD ONE!" But, that would be mean of me to put a well-meaning person on the spot like that. So, I'm hoping with some gentle education, maybe the inquirers will learn that it's a really personal question and not always appropriate to ask.

Who knows? It could backfire. I wonder who the first person will be to tell me to "Relax", and it will happen. Uh, yeah. I'm going to revert to the 90's and put my thumbs together making a "W" with my fingers. Whatever! No, it will not happen if I just relax. I need medical intervention to stay pregnant. Otherwise, I will be having more miscarriages. And, frankly, I don't know why I need to have more than three. I've had my share...and then some.

I definitely need to write more. This is so cathartic. But, alas, I must run off and do some housework while the babe is sleeping. Until next time...

HSG results in!

Looks like there's a surgery in my future. Again. That means another IV. I hate IVs. I mean, no one likes needles - I get that. But, I really hate IVs. Maybe it's just because it seems that every time they try to give me one, it takes a few tries. C'mon people! Help a sistah out! Just send the anesthesiologist right away - I don't want an amateur sticking me with a thick needle!

Ok, so back to the point of my post. My results show either one large fibroid or a bunch of little polyps. So, I'm having some surgery to remove it/them and hopefully that will solve my problem. Before I have it, I'll be going to a reproductive endocrinologist next week. Dr. G just wants a second opinion but she is 99% sure that the surgery will be done.

I feel ridiculously relieved that we finally have some answers. Since patience is not a virtue I possess, I'm also really happy that we got answers now...rather than months from now.

Secondary Infertility

Two words that I didn't expect to hear. Two words that I didn't want to hear. My only exposure to infertility (IF) is negative. It's heartbreaking, ruthless and the cause of countless tears.

I suppose I should start at the beginning. Yesterday, I had an HSG. If you want to know the full term, feel free to google. I'm kinda lazy this morning. Basically, it was a dye test to see what was going on in my ute. Fun times. Especially when it took 3 tries to get the catheter in. Meh, this might be TMI, but since I've had Maddux, most of my modesty flew far, far away. Anyway, the radiologist who ended up doing the procedure asked if I was there due to infertility. I said "no." I didn't have a problem getting pregnant. Only staying that way. Then, she said, "I'm sorry to tell you this, dear, but that's secondary infertility."

O_O <----That's me wide eyed. What was this woman talking about? I'm not infertile. I can't be! I couldn't wait to get home and do some googling of my own. But, alas, Google does not lie. Infertility is not just the inability to get pregnant, it's the inability to stay pregnant and carry to full term.

Needless to say, it was shocking. Not what I was expecting. I'm hoping to talk to my own OB at some point today to go over the results of my HSG and ask her about Secondary IF. Wish me luck with that conversation. I have a feeling that, once again, my poor OB will be consoling a crying me. Have I told you about my OB, Dr, G? No? Oh, well, let me tell you - I love her! Seriously, love, love, love her. I want to have her over for dinner and wine. If I could have a dinner party with 5 people, I'd have her, Michelle Obama, Oprah and Rachael Ray. Oh, and me, of course. Dr. G has been my biggest cheerleader with my pregnancies. She's there with support when I need it, answers when I need them and silent hugs when I need those too.

I digress. But, you get the point. I love Dr. G. But, I do hope that we get some further answers with this last set of tests. This is the one I'd been waiting for. So, if I have to be labeled with Secondary IF, at least let me get some closure on why all of this is happening with my results.